Archive
Character #78NEAR MISS™ is the world’s premiere photobomber. 
She has appeared in photos with celebrities, presidents, rock stars, soldiers, prisoners, and diplomats.

Near Miss is most recognized for her now infamous ‘Bathtime with the Pope’ photo, but her favourite targets seem to be ordinary people taking vacation pictures.

Near Miss is wanted by many government agencies across the globe for her unparalleled security breaches. Despite her distinctive pink hair and her appearance in thousands of online photos, Near Miss’ true identity remains unknown. 

Character #78
NEAR MISS™ is the world’s premiere photobomber. 

She has appeared in photos with celebrities, presidents, rock stars, soldiers, prisoners, and diplomats.
Near Miss is most recognized for her now infamous ‘Bathtime with the Pope’ photo, but her favourite targets seem to be ordinary people taking vacation pictures.

Near Miss is wanted by many government agencies across the globe for her unparalleled security breaches. Despite her distinctive pink hair and her appearance in thousands of online photos, Near Miss’ true identity remains unknown. 



Character #77BLEATY™ and BLEEDY™ are conjoined twin sheep who, despite having nearly identical upbringings, have virtually opposite personalities:
Bleedy is rash, mouthy, impetuous, careless, and prefers action over words.
Bleaty is cautious, cowardly, neurotic, incessantly talkative, and prone to hysterics.
Their stories write themselves.

Character #77

BLEATY™
and BLEEDY™ are conjoined twin sheep who, despite having nearly identical upbringings, have virtually opposite personalities:

Bleedy is rash, mouthy, impetuous, careless, and prefers action over words.

Bleaty is cautious, cowardly, neurotic, incessantly talkative, and prone to hysterics.

Their stories write themselves.

Character #76In May 1991, five elite mercenaries were recruited by a secret government agency to undertake a dangerous rescue mission in the Burmese jungle. 
Each member received a number-coded message outlining the mission and rendez-vous point. 
The five members are:
Lee Ross—former British SAS soldier and blades expert.

Dionte Brown—sniper extraordinaire
Kaluka Maiava—weapons specialist
Patryk Ciolek—demolitions expert
Erik Ciolek—unparalleled tactician 

Due to a clerical error, a sixth envelope was delivered to the office of accountant Lester Kenneth Doothis. 
While initially puzzled by the jumbled numbers printed on the letter within, Doothis’ keen mind soon cracked the code.
Assuming he was being called upon to serve his country despite his chronic asthma, irritable bowel syndrome, and numerous allergies, Doothis phoned in sick and hopped on a plane to Burma, making his way through the jungle and shocking the mercenaries by waking them by cooking popcorn over the campfire.
Convincing them he wasn’t a spy or an enemy, Doothis joined the team.
Surprising them with his quick-thinking and ability to hold a gun nearly parallel to the ground, Doothis became well-liked.

When Burmese guerilla soldiers attacked the 6 mercenaries with a chemical gas that constricted their airways making it difficult for them to breathe, Doothis used his epipen and overcame the attack to free the prisoners behind the backs of their overconfident captors.

Holding them off single-handedly, Doothis stayed behind—weaponless—to fight, using his laptop as both an edged weapon and a shield.
He died a hero and his story became a legend.

A symbol of determination against incredible odds, mercenaries and soldiers today still salute Les before entering a firefight by saying his name as a tribute to his bravery— “LES DOOTHIS!™”

Character #76
In May 1991, five elite mercenaries were recruited by a secret government agency to undertake a dangerous rescue mission in the Burmese jungle. 

Each member received a number-coded message outlining the mission and rendez-vous point. 
The five members are:
Lee Ross—former British SAS soldier and blades expert.
Dionte Brown—sniper extraordinaire
Kaluka Maiava—weapons specialist
Patryk Ciolek—demolitions expert
Erik Ciolek—unparalleled tactician 

Due to a clerical error, a sixth envelope was delivered to the office of accountant Lester Kenneth Doothis. 
While initially puzzled by the jumbled numbers printed on the letter within, Doothis’ keen mind soon cracked the code.
Assuming he was being called upon to serve his country despite his chronic asthma, irritable bowel syndrome, and numerous allergies, Doothis phoned in sick and hopped on a plane to Burma, making his way through the jungle and shocking the mercenaries by waking them by cooking popcorn over the campfire.
Convincing them he wasn’t a spy or an enemy, Doothis joined the team.
Surprising them with his quick-thinking and ability to hold a gun nearly parallel to the ground, Doothis became well-liked.

When Burmese guerilla soldiers attacked the 6 mercenaries with a chemical gas that constricted their airways making it difficult for them to breathe, Doothis used his epipen and overcame the attack to free the prisoners behind the backs of their overconfident captors.

Holding them off single-handedly, Doothis stayed behind—weaponless—to fight, using his laptop as both an edged weapon and a shield.
He died a hero and his story became a legend.

A symbol of determination against incredible odds, mercenaries and soldiers today still salute Les before entering a firefight by saying his name as a tribute to his bravery— “LES DOOTHIS!™

Character #75
A Halloween accident in a teleportation laboratory involving a jack-o’-lantern, a cat named Whiskers, and a piece of candy corn led to the creation of HALLOWHISKERS™, the Cat O’ Lantern!
Hallowhiskers spends his days sleeping, but at night plays spooky games with the local children or does tricks in exchange for candy.
Not everybody loves playing fun games with Hallowhiskers, though—the world-renowned and evil chef Pierre St. Poivre has publicly stated he would like nothing more than to cook and serve Hallowhiskers as one-of-a-kind delicacy at his six-star restaurant, Gastronomicon.

Character #75

A Halloween accident in a teleportation laboratory involving a jack-o’-lantern, a cat named Whiskers, and a piece of candy corn led to the creation of HALLOWHISKERS™, the Cat O’ Lantern!
Hallowhiskers spends his days sleeping, but at night plays spooky games with the local children or does tricks in exchange for candy.
Not everybody loves playing fun games with Hallowhiskers, though—the world-renowned and evil chef Pierre St. Poivre has publicly stated he would like nothing more than to cook and serve Hallowhiskers as one-of-a-kind delicacy at his six-star restaurant, Gastronomicon.

Characters #73 & 74
WHAT A RIOT!™ is a comic strip about two riot cops in love. With the unlikely birth names JACK BOOTS™ and PEPPER SPRAY™, the couple was “destined to meet, fall in love, and bust protester heads”, according to creator Salvador Anthony.
The strip was launched in the May 1977 issue of MAD™ Magazine and met with mixed reviews.
Fans appreciated the comedic violence and the way authority figures were portrayed, but many were bored by the mundane domestic observations and puerile bathroom jokes that Jack and Pepper would share while abusing protestors.
The strip was denounced by New York mayor Ed Koch during his inauguration speech. He referred to What A Riot! as “an inaccurate portrayal of New York City’s finest….and an anti-social comment on police methods”.
The strip was pulled from MAD and replaced with Hank Berd’s beloved and enduring strip, Death’s Like That™.

The character of Thomas Magnum (portrayed by Tom Selleck) can briefly be seen wearing a What A Riot!™ t-shirt in the pilot episode of the 1980 television series, Magnum, P.I. 

Characters #73 & 74

WHAT A RIOT!™ is a comic strip about two riot cops in love.
With the unlikely birth names JACK BOOTS™ and PEPPER SPRAY™, the couple was “destined to meet, fall in love, and bust protester heads”, according to creator Salvador Anthony.

The strip was launched in the May 1977 issue of MAD™ Magazine and met with mixed reviews.
Fans appreciated the comedic violence and the way authority figures were portrayed, but many were bored by the mundane domestic observations and puerile bathroom jokes that Jack and Pepper would share while abusing protestors.
The strip was denounced by New York mayor Ed Koch during his inauguration speech. He referred to What A Riot! as “an inaccurate portrayal of New York City’s finest….and an anti-social comment on police methods”.

The strip was pulled from MAD and replaced with Hank Berd’s beloved and enduring strip, Death’s Like That™.

The character of Thomas Magnum (portrayed by Tom Selleck) can briefly be seen wearing a What A Riot!™ t-shirt in the pilot episode of the 1980 television series, Magnum, P.I. 

Character #72
In the summer of 1959, a baby boy was born. When the child’s superstitious parents noticed unusual marking on the boy’s skin—birthmarks on the baby’s fingers that spelled out perfectly legible words—they were certain their child would grow to become an evil tyrant who would menace the entire world.
The words on the child’s fingers seemed to chart out a 5-step plan to world conquest:

1. PLAN
2. ELIMINATE ETHICS
3. INSTILL TERROR
4. SEIZE POWER
5.———————

The fifth birth/wordmark was written out clearly on the baby’s pinky finger. It filled the child’s father with so much horror when he read it that he cut the child’s finger off, encased it in resin, and traveled overseas with his wife, his child, and a plan to bring the finger to an occult expert there.

The plane was caught in a storm and went down over the English Channel. 

The fingerless child was the lone survivor.

The child grew to adulthood using his birthmark-words as life goals.

Now a much-feared international terrorist and despot, GOALFINGER™ uses all of his ill-gotten resources to fund the search for his missing finger. Did it wash ashore somewhere? Does it still remain leagues underwater? What is Goalfinger’s fifth and final goal? Will he ever find his missing digit?

Let’s cross our fingers he never does.

Character #72

In the summer of 1959, a baby boy was born. When the child’s superstitious parents noticed unusual marking on the boy’s skin—birthmarks on the baby’s fingers that spelled out perfectly legible words—they were certain their child would grow to become an evil tyrant who would menace the entire world.

The words on the child’s fingers seemed to chart out a 5-step plan to world conquest:
1. PLAN
2. ELIMINATE ETHICS
3. INSTILL TERROR
4. SEIZE POWER
5.———————
The fifth birth/wordmark was written out clearly on the baby’s pinky finger. It filled the child’s father with so much horror when he read it that he cut the child’s finger off, encased it in resin, and traveled overseas with his wife, his child, and a plan to bring the finger to an occult expert there.
The plane was caught in a storm and went down over the English Channel. 
The fingerless child was the lone survivor.
The child grew to adulthood using his birthmark-words as life goals.
Now a much-feared international terrorist and despot, GOALFINGER™ uses all of his ill-gotten resources to fund the search for his missing finger. Did it wash ashore somewhere? Does it still remain leagues underwater? What is Goalfinger’s fifth and final goal? Will he ever find his missing digit?
Let’s cross our fingers he never does.

Character #71
PHO PAW™ is a popular daily newspaper comic strip about a cat who will do anything for her favourite food—Vietnamese soup—which often leads to hilarious and/or shocking adventures. 

Brian Basset, creator of the comic ‘Adam@Home’ (formerly ‘Adam’) commented, “Pho Paw is at once funny, sad, and poignant. Seeing a cartoon character struggle with a serious addiction can remind us the we are what we do; If we become pho addicts, we have turned ourselves into pho addicts. There is no blaming our genes, our parents, our feelings, or our psychic pain from a past life. Likewise, if we become heroes, it is because we have turned ourselves into heroes. We are not born alcoholics or pho addicts. We turn ourselves into them.”

Critics of the strip complain that after watching the character develop for so many years it’s frustrating and unrealistic that Pho Paw is still unable to use chopsticks, and continues to eat with her hands.

Character #71

PHO PAW™ is a popular daily newspaper comic strip about a cat who will do anything for her favourite food—Vietnamese soup—which often leads to hilarious and/or shocking adventures. 

Brian Basset, creator of the comic ‘Adam@Home’ (formerly ‘Adam’) commented, “Pho Paw is at once funny, sad, and poignant. Seeing a cartoon character struggle with a serious addiction can remind us the we are what we do; If we become pho addicts, we have turned ourselves into pho addicts. There is no blaming our genes, our parents, our feelings, or our psychic pain from a past life. Likewise, if we become heroes, it is because we have turned ourselves into heroes. We are not born alcoholics or pho addicts. We turn ourselves into them.”

Critics of the strip complain that after watching the character develop for so many years it’s frustrating and unrealistic that Pho Paw is still unable to use chopsticks, and continues to eat with her hands.

Characters #69 and #70
When several chickens went missing from Derek MacInnes’ Kirkcudbrightshire farm, locals assumed a wolf was responsible. 

Worried for his animals’ safety, MacInnes began to herd them into his cellar for the night.
While attempting this, he was attacked by the wolf, and MacInnes’ shotgun was knocked from his hands.
Two of his most loyal animals—a sheep named Woolworth and a cow named Fullworth— fought off the wolf long enough for MacInnes to reach safety in the cellar with the rest of the animals.

When morning broke, MacInnes saw the evidence of the previous night’s fight: bloody wool, fur, a tooth.
But there was not sign of either Woolworth or Fullworth.

He wouldn’t see either of them again until he returned back to the farm one month later. It was night, but the fog was finally lifting.  MacInnes heard a terrible Baa-howl and a matching Moo-howl.

Confused, Derek stopped his truck and unrolled his window to listen. Were those his animals? Maybe they’d been alive all this time?
OR MAYBE THEY WERE BITTEN BY A WEREWOLF AND ARE NOW A WEREWOLF-SHEEP AND A WEREWOLF-COW?!
Perhaps Fullworth and Woolworth truly did die that night in the scuffle a month earlier, but they were replaced with savage werewolf-versions that the locals dubbed WEREWOOL™ and FULL MOO™.
Perhaps.

Characters #69 and #70

When several chickens went missing from Derek MacInnes’ Kirkcudbrightshire farm, locals assumed a wolf was responsible. 

Worried for his animals’ safety, MacInnes began to herd them into his cellar for the night.
While attempting this, he was attacked by the wolf, and MacInnes’ shotgun was knocked from his hands.
Two of his most loyal animals—a sheep named Woolworth and a cow named Fullworth— fought off the wolf long enough for MacInnes to reach safety in the cellar with the rest of the animals.

When morning broke, MacInnes saw the evidence of the previous night’s fight: bloody wool, fur, a tooth.
But there was not sign of either Woolworth or Fullworth.

He wouldn’t see either of them again until he returned back to the farm one month later. It was night, but the fog was finally lifting.  MacInnes heard a terrible Baa-howl and a matching Moo-howl.
Confused, Derek stopped his truck and unrolled his window to listen. Were those his animals? Maybe they’d been alive all this time?
OR MAYBE THEY WERE BITTEN BY A WEREWOLF AND ARE NOW A WEREWOLF-SHEEP AND A WEREWOLF-COW?!
Perhaps Fullworth and Woolworth truly did die that night in the scuffle a month earlier, but they were replaced with savage werewolf-versions that the locals dubbed WEREWOOL™ and FULL MOO™.
Perhaps.

Character #68
The son of an arborist and renowned geneticist David D. Wood, CHUCK WOOD was a 6’4 standout wide receiver for Coach Lou Rozzi’s Duquesne Dukes. 
The 1939 squad posted a 7-1 record and the 1940 team went 8-1-1 when Wood was still a sapling. He entered the Army and became a Ground Ops specialist, and was in high demand among professional football teams upon his discharge in 1945, by which time 22 year-old Chuck had grown 11 more inches.Signed by the Pittsburgh Steelers, Wood was an all-star in his first pro season and led the Steelers to the 1946 NFL championship game.Wood uncharacteristically fumbled the ball in the dying seconds, losing the game 34-31.After being pressured by police and the public, Wood later confessed to throwing (or, in his own words, ‘Chucking’) the game in exchange for a $100,000 mob payoff.This led to the famous 1947 headline in the Pittsburgh-Post Gazette: How many games would a Wood (Chuck) chuck if a Wood (Chuck) could, Chuck  Wood?In reference to deliberately losing at any game or sport, the term ‘chucking’ is still commonly used in the Pennsylvania area.

Character #68

The son of an arborist and renowned geneticist David D. Wood, CHUCK WOOD was a 6’4 standout wide receiver for Coach Lou Rozzi’s Duquesne Dukes. 
The 1939 squad posted a 7-1 record and the 1940 team went 8-1-1 when Wood was still a sapling. 
He entered the Army and became a Ground Ops specialist, and was in high demand among professional football teams upon his discharge in 1945, by which time 22 year-old Chuck had grown 11 more inches.
Signed by the Pittsburgh Steelers, Wood was an all-star in his first pro season and led the Steelers to the 1946 NFL championship game.
Wood uncharacteristically fumbled the ball in the dying seconds, losing the game 34-31.
After being pressured by police and the public, Wood later confessed to throwing (or, in his own words, ‘Chucking’) the game in exchange for a $100,000 mob payoff.
This led to the famous 1947 headline in the Pittsburgh-Post Gazette: 
How many games would a Wood (Chuck) chuck if a Wood (Chuck) could, Chuck  Wood?

In reference to deliberately losing at any game or sport, the term ‘chucking’ is still commonly used in the Pennsylvania area.

Character #67 COPPER COPPER™ was a cartoon produced by Paramount Pictures in 1933. The cartoon was allegedly sanctioned by US president Franklin D. Roosevelt himself in a desperate attempt to raise public support for policemen during the Great Depression, when police were viewed as villains, and  bank robbers like Bonnie and Clyde were seen as heroes.
Copper Copper starred Joe Penny, a beat cop who, after a terrible smelting accident during a shootout at the US Mint, became Copper Copper.
Despite the plucky personality of the lead character and lighthearted nature of the animated shorts, Copper Copper was not well-received, and theatre lobby cards with the unfortunate tagline ‘Your Soft Metal Friend’ didn’t help the hero’s popularity.

Character #67 
COPPER COPPER™ was a cartoon produced by Paramount Pictures in 1933. The cartoon was allegedly sanctioned by US president Franklin D. Roosevelt himself in a desperate attempt to raise public support for policemen during the Great Depression, when police were viewed as villains, and  bank robbers like Bonnie and Clyde were seen as heroes.

Copper Copper starred Joe Penny, a beat cop who, after a terrible smelting accident during a shootout at the US Mint, became Copper Copper.
Despite the plucky personality of the lead character and lighthearted nature of the animated shorts, Copper Copper was not well-received, and theatre lobby cards with the unfortunate tagline ‘Your Soft Metal Friend’ didn’t help the hero’s popularity.

Character #66Doodle Boo is a ghost chicken with dual personalities.
He haunts the barn of Lovecraft Farm, constantly bickering with himself about the most effective and/or fun ways to frighten the pigs, chickens, and cows that live there.
His first personality is Doodle— serious, intense, and earnest, Doodle believes he’s the more intelligent personality, mostly because he has interests beyond startling people by yelling at them.
Doodle takes his duties as a farm ghost seriously, and loves planning elaborate and subtle but chilling hauntings. 
Carrying a sketchpad to jot down eerie ideas, Doodle thinks of himself as an artist, and thinks of frightening as an art.


His other personality, Boo, is his simple and child-like counterpart.
Even though Doodle and Boo have the exact same goal—scaring people— they have completely opposite views on how to go about it.
Boo is the Ernie to Doodle’s Bert. Boo is impulsive, fun-loving, and single-minded in his desire to startle the animals in simple ways, usually by sneaking up to a sleeping barnyard animal and yelling his juvenile and corny trademark saying, “COCKA-DOODLE-BOO!”

Doodle thinks of himself as the smart one due to his elaborate plans, but typically each night goes by with neither Doodle nor Boo executing even the simplest haunt due to the fact that they usually spend the entire night bickering about the style of the scare instead of just getting it done.
In fact, Doodle and Boo spend so much of their time imagining and illustrating haunting schemes (and arguing about them), that to this day they’ve yet to startle, scare, or haunt a single animal in the barn.

Character #66
Doodle Boo is a ghost chicken with dual personalities.

He haunts the barn of Lovecraft Farm, constantly bickering with himself about the most effective and/or fun ways to frighten the pigs, chickens, and cows that live there.

His first personality is Doodle— serious, intense, and earnest, Doodle believes he’s the more intelligent personality, mostly because he has interests beyond startling people by yelling at them.
Doodle takes his duties as a farm ghost seriously, and loves planning elaborate and subtle but chilling hauntings. 
Carrying a sketchpad to jot down eerie ideas, Doodle thinks of himself as an artist, and thinks of frightening as an art.
His other personality, Boo, is his simple and child-like counterpart.
Even though Doodle and Boo have the exact same goal—scaring people— they have completely opposite views on how to go about it.
Boo is the Ernie to Doodle’s Bert. Boo is impulsive, fun-loving, and single-minded in his desire to startle the animals in simple ways, usually by sneaking up to a sleeping barnyard animal and yelling his juvenile and corny trademark saying, “COCKA-DOODLE-BOO!”
Doodle thinks of himself as the smart one due to his elaborate plans, but typically each night goes by with neither Doodle nor Boo executing even the simplest haunt due to the fact that they usually spend the entire night bickering about the style of the scare instead of just getting it done.

In fact, Doodle and Boo spend so much of their time imagining and illustrating haunting schemes (and arguing about them), that to this day they’ve yet to startle, scare, or haunt a single animal in the barn.

Characters #63, 64, and 65EAT ME!™ is an alien cooking show with three stars: CHEF BEEREGAR™, the idiosyncratic but intergalatically-renowned chef, his disgruntled Smartoven®, COOKIE™, and the childlike and funny host/food of the show, KONKY-CHOO™.

Being from the planet Pabula, Konky-Choo has the power to alter his taste and texture. 
In addition, evolution has provided Pabulans with the unique ability to reassemble and reform their amorphous bodies after even the greatest physical traumas—the ultimate defense against predators. When Pabulans are eaten they simply reassemble themselves  after being digested and expelled from the body.

This makes Konky-Choo the most unique personality on Universal Television, as he’s the first cooking show host to actually cheerfully and chattily be prepared, cooked, eaten, excreted, and reassembled each week within the span of 30 minutes.
Konky-Choo is also known for his hilarious opening monologues each week, many of which make light of how many times per year he is excreted by celebrities.

Characters #63, 64, and 65
EAT ME!™ is an alien cooking show with three stars: CHEF BEEREGAR™, the idiosyncratic but intergalatically-renowned chef, his disgruntled Smartoven®, COOKIE™, and the childlike and funny host/food of the show, KONKY-CHOO™.

Being from the planet Pabula, Konky-Choo has the power to alter his taste and texture. 
In addition, evolution has provided Pabulans with the unique ability to reassemble and reform their amorphous bodies after even the greatest physical traumas—the ultimate defense against predators. When Pabulans are eaten they simply reassemble themselves  after being digested and expelled from the body.
This makes Konky-Choo the most unique personality on Universal Television, as he’s the first cooking show host to actually cheerfully and chattily be prepared, cooked, eaten, excreted, and reassembled each week within the span of 30 minutes.
Konky-Choo is also known for his hilarious opening monologues each week, many of which make light of how many times per year he is excreted by celebrities.

Character #62PRISM BREAK™ are an up-and-coming rock band made up of four siblings: Snowflake, Diamond, Salt, and Sugar.
Known primarily for using lasers and their own crystalline bodies to create spectacular light shows, Prism Break recently made SPIN’s top 10 list of ‘Bands To Watch in 2013’. Unfortunately, they didn’t crack the top 1000 on SPIN’s ‘Bands To Listen To in 2013’ list.
Because of the band members’ opposing musical interests and styles, many of Prism Break’s shows degenerate into noise, with the band members’ differing musical tastes and styles audibly warring throughout their shows. 
Described by Pitchfork reviewer Aaron Donovan as “beautiful and fun, but clumsy and lyrically weak at best”, Prism Break have nonetheless garnered a small but loyal following, and have recently become the subjects of the upcoming MTV2 doc, Loud and Clear.

Character #62
PRISM BREAK™ 
are an up-and-coming rock band made up of four siblings: Snowflake, Diamond, Salt, and Sugar.

Known primarily for using lasers and their own crystalline bodies to create spectacular light shows, Prism Break recently made SPIN’s top 10 list of ‘Bands To Watch in 2013’. Unfortunately, they didn’t crack the top 1000 on SPIN’s ‘Bands To Listen To in 2013’ list.
Because of the band members’ opposing musical interests and styles, many of Prism Break’s shows degenerate into noise, with the band members’ differing musical tastes and styles audibly warring throughout their shows. 
Described by Pitchfork reviewer Aaron Donovan as “beautiful and fun, but clumsy and lyrically weak at best”, Prism Break have nonetheless garnered a small but loyal following, and have recently become the subjects of the upcoming MTV2 doc, Loud and Clear.

Character #61JOHNNY SHIFTTOTHELEFTSIX™ is the code name of American inventor-turned-spy, John Apport.
Under contract to the CIA, Apport designed a box that can teleport up to 300 pounds of matter. 

Before the box was finished, terrorists attacked Apport’s lab in an attempt to steal the device.
An early prototype, the box was only capable of teleporting objects in one direction, and only had three distance settings: 6 inches, 6 feet, and 6 miles.
While under siege, Apport fashioned the box into a crude helmet and used it to evade and defeat his attackers.

Apport now uses a slightly modified version of the box in his new career as an unorthodox but effective spy.
There is always the risk of materializing inside a wall or object when infltrating an unknown location, but Apport claims to have developed a sort of ‘sixth sense’ to avoid these obstacles.

Character #61
JOHNNY SHIFTTOTHELEFTSIX™ is the code name of American inventor-turned-spy, John Apport.

Under contract to the CIA, Apport designed a box that can teleport up to 300 pounds of matter. 
Before the box was finished, terrorists attacked Apport’s lab in an attempt to steal the device.
An early prototype, the box was only capable of teleporting objects in one direction, and only had three distance settings: 6 inches, 6 feet, and 6 miles.
While under siege, Apport fashioned the box into a crude helmet and used it to evade and defeat his attackers.
Apport now uses a slightly modified version of the box in his new career as an unorthodox but effective spy.
There is always the risk of materializing inside a wall or object when infltrating an unknown location, but Apport claims to have developed a sort of ‘sixth sense’ to avoid these obstacles.

Character #60
The GUMBUG™ is a parasite that benefits at the expense of giant monsters, most commonly dragons.
The Gumbug typically flies into a sleeping dragon’s mouth and burrows into its gums, feeding on the tissue and drinking the secretions that produce a dragon’s fiery breath.
After two weeks of hosting the Gumbug, the average dragon is typically completely unable to muster even the tiniest flame.
At four weeks, the Gumbug has usually grown to the size of an adult male human (who indulges in no regular exercise), and at this point the host dragon can usually expel the Gumbug from its mouth.
Because of its effectiveness in disabling giant monsters, the Gumbug is honoured by many townspeople plagued by dragons and grendels, who paint their villages pink once a year to make the Gumbug feel welcome.
The Gumbug rarely makes an appearance at such celebrations.
August 1st—Gumbug Day—is still celebrated in many parts of England. 

Character #60

The GUMBUG™ is a parasite that benefits at the expense of giant monsters, most commonly dragons.

The Gumbug typically flies into a sleeping dragon’s mouth and burrows into its gums, feeding on the tissue and drinking the secretions that produce a dragon’s fiery breath.

After two weeks of hosting the Gumbug, the average dragon is typically completely unable to muster even the tiniest flame.

At four weeks, the Gumbug has usually grown to the size of an adult male human (who indulges in no regular exercise), and at this point the host dragon can usually expel the Gumbug from its mouth.

Because of its effectiveness in disabling giant monsters, the Gumbug is honoured by many townspeople plagued by dragons and grendels, who paint their villages pink once a year to make the Gumbug feel welcome.

The Gumbug rarely makes an appearance at such celebrations.

August 1st—Gumbug Day—is still celebrated in many parts of England. 

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